? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
