She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Mom said you looked used
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
