How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
