she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
