just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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