Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize