Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he puts the penis in happiness.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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