their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
