i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
