Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
