I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
