cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
