are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
