Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
