He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
