I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
