so let's talk penis.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
