I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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