Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
not ubering you a puppy
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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