Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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