went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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