I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
