Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
