I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
