yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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