I just saw a hot homeless man
Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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