apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
