At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
