2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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