Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
