you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
