How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
