dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
