Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize