just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
