All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
