At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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