Just mADE A PArabola og urine
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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