everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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