All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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