Nicole vs. Life
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
