How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
