i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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