Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
