New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize