Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize