he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
third nipple confirmed
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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