i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
