I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
