Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
