So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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