Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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