i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize