I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
