I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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