The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
