I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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