walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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