What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
