You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
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Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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