You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Acid is not a monday night drug
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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