awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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