(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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