The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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