I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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